Hey Beautiful Soul,
It’s Caitlin here and welcome to the place where you get to learn a little bit about me and my story.
I have a passion for other people and have motivated many people to live their life to their full potential, love the skin they are in, acknowledge the unique mind they have, and look deep within their soul to find themselves.
I am on the journey to loving myself and guiding others to self-love along side of me. Even though it is not easy, I believe that the only way to truly be happy is to have unconditional love for ourselves and let that love flow through to others.
Now that I have explained a little about what I stand for, I will answer the question of why do I care?
I care because I know what it is like to hate every part of myself. In the past, I’ve put my body, mind, and soul through hell and back. I lived in fear that everyone hated me. I thought that I could never do anything right; I was too fat, ugly, annoying, mean, sensitive, and so many other negative things I told myself. All I wanted was happiness, but I could never reach it. To try to find happiness I started to look to places outside of myself. I found alcohol, partying, and control temporarily filled the emptiness in my soul and gave me instant gratification, but I soon came to find out that quick fixes never lead to anything but destruction and crippling self-worth.
I soon found myself drinking to ignore the thoughts that people did not like me, controlling my food intake to ensure that people praised my body, and partying in hopes to grow in popularity and likability. I was seeking love from everywhere, but myself. Months later I found myself drowning in a sea of self-pity, sadness, self-hate, and hopelessness. This was when I had my breaking point and decided I could no longer treat myself like this. I DESERVED BETTER.
I told the truth to everyone that mattered to me, I got help, and I worked hard to stay better. It was not easy, but it was worth it.
Soon, I found my passion lied in helping those love themselves too, whether it was physically, mentally, or spiritually. I am now on a mission to build a community of people and myself who want to change their perspective and live a life that is full of love and not full of fear.
Fear takes the wheel and convinces us that we are not worthy, but love has the power to take the wheel and bring us on a new adventure where we see ourselves through new eyes; eyes that see the beauty within us all.
Once I graduated with my Communication Studies BS from a private liberal arts university in a small town in Tennessee, I found myself following the path of a video producer. I found a job in a local video production company and was beyond excited. I was promised glimmering images of becoming CEO, meeting with wealthy politicians, and becoming someone important. It was everything I wanted, and I was miserable.
Work weeks were 60 hours long, days were spent behind a camera or a computer screen, my life revolved around making videos for people in Corporate America. I felt useless, lost, and hopeless. I wanted to do something better, I wanted to speak to people, I didn’t want money and fame like I thought I had, but I truly wanted deep, meaningful connections with others.
Later in the year, still working at this company, I found myself at my part-time job as an audio technician in my parents’ church. As my father was preaching, I reached down to grab something from the audio booth when I heard a voice (the one I have always referred to as God) speak to me. God’s voice spoke clearly for the first time that day as I heard to words,
“I need you. I need you. I NEED YOU.”
So, in the middle of worship, I looked up and replied in my head, Well, what do you want me to do?” and my seemingly vague God said,
As I watched my father preach, I had made my decision, I would quit my job that was making me miserable and I would go to seminary to become a pastor. I changed my life forever in the matter of days and I would never take it back. This was a pivotal moment in my life and the beginning of a discovery to where spirituality is in my life and how God speaks to me. I find self-love and spirituality are strongly connected. We cannot deny the soul within us and the spiritual connectivity of the world around us when trying to love others and love our self.
I am now a student at Candler School of Theology on my spiritual journey and the hopes to become a pastor and guide others on their adventure with God and the universe as well.
I want to guide us all in a path where we love our self first. I believe we cannot show love to others unless we have it for our self first. I will guide you through the steps to love your body, mind, and soul through blogs, videos, and workshops.
As I acquire my Masters of Divinity, I understand that spirituality can be difficult to understand and wrap our heads around. I will help guide you through questions of the universe, God, and things that we simply do not understand.
Let’s Take This Journey Together