We hear it all the time from family, friends, neighbors, and even from ourselves, but what does it truly mean to “love yourself?”
Loving one’s self is an overtly complex, yet simple notion. It’s simple, right? Just love yourself, just be confident, just stop saying bad things about yourself; it’s really not that hard, right?
In theory, this is something that should be easily done, but it is extremely difficult. Our minds like to trick us and tell us lies that we are not worthy and that we do not deserve love. When these lies start to take over our lives, we have to step back and evaluate our situation. To help rid of these stories told by our deceptive minds, we must put in the work. There are ways that we can try to end the cycle of fear and open up to a cycle of love.
So, here are 5 ways that I think allows us to truly love ourselves from deep within.
5 ways to truly love yourself
1. Let Yourself Off the Hook
We all mess up in life. We all do things that we wish we could take back in a time machine and never think about again and you know what? It is OKAY to mess up. We are humans and our errors and faults are what make us grow and change. So, let yourself off the hook. Next time you do something that you aren’t proud of, evaluate the situation and think, “How could I have handled that better?” Once we find the answer to this question, we know that next time we will handle it that way. If we never made mistakes, we would never learn and learning is how we grow. So, learn from mistakes and give yourself a break because we are only human.
2. Acknowledge That No One Cares About You
I know this one sounds a little crazy, but it should be relieving. One of the reasons we are so hard on ourselves and choose not to love ourselves is because we think other people care so much about us. We think people care about how we look, speak, walk, eat, and whatever else we worry about in our own life. When, in reality, nobody cares. We work so hard thinking about what others want or think of us when really they probably are not even giving two thoughts to us, but concerned about their own livelihood. The point being, love you for who you are today, not for who you want others to think you are because its likely are more concerned with their life and looks than yours.
3. Say It
Seriously, say that you love yourself. I do not just mean screaming it in the mirror at yourself until you believe it, but saying it through your daily conversations. It is so much more likely for us to say negative things about ourselves than positive. We all need to stop approaching life in such a self-deprecating manner. Instead of phrases like, “I’m never going to be successful, I can’t do it, I’m lazy, and the other 5 million negative things we say to ourselves daily, say things like ” I will be successful if I keep working at it, I can do it, but I will need to learn a few things along the way, it may not be the time yet, but I will do it when I’m ready.” When saying positive things about ourselves (out loud or inside our head), we change the dynamic and we change how we see our life and our image. If we constantly speak negative about our life, then we do not give our self a chance to feel loved in daily activities.
4. Find a Support Buddy
Everyone has bad days and we all need community. Although I believe that finding a therapist is a great support asset, I also understand that many people cannot get one due to various reasons including money, transportation, and etc. Although professional help may not always be accessible, it is so important to find someone to be there for you on those bad days. We all need a friend to talk to, someone who can hold us accountable and be there for us during the times that are difficult.
5. Find a Quiet Place
The world is so fast pace now a days. We can get lost in the news, social media, work, and so many other things that we can forget who we are. Take some time to sit with yourself and be quiet. Let thoughts flow through your mind and let love in. I feel we should all take at least 5 minutes of quiet time a day to be silent with ourselves and stop overthinking everything, but balancing our thoughts instead.
Thank you for reading and I hope these continually help us all on a journey of self-love.